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2019 Has Been the Year of Letting Go, 2020 is the Year of Becoming

This has been the year that I’ve let go. The unnecessary clothes, the half-assed relationships, the opinions of people that shouldn’t matter, and importantly, the person who I used to be.
This year I’ve let go of my doubt, my resistance, my hesitance and my insecurity. This year I’ve let go of parts of the past that I was still keeping close for comfort, and maybe even hope. 

This year I have learnt letting go is not a peaceful release, but an intense confrontation. This year I left my comfort zone, so fear no longer controls me.

This year I opened my eyes to see others for who they are and not in the false light I was shining on them, so attachment no longer keeps me stuck. This year I needed to let go of holding on to people just because we have history together.

This year I needed to let go of all the negative remains of the past, because in a couple of months, I’m going to have an entirely different life.

This year I let go of my past selves. I thanked each one of them for getting me through and for helping me become the person I am today.
I am not the person I used to be, and I will never be her again. That person no longer exists so I’ve mourned for her, thanked her, and have now released her. In doing so I found myself removing everything that she once built. Habits that served her and belongings that she loved.
Our bodies are alway refreshing. Skin reforms itself every month and the cells of organs regenerate every decade. We must learn how to do this mentally too. It’s important to let old parts die and release them.
This year I’ve been accepting change, but not for the reasons you would think. I’m not changing for society or for anyone else. This year I became tired of living only as a fragment of my true self and alternating who I am to please someone else.
Gone are the days of constantly worrying about what everyone else thinks. The days of second guessing my choices in angst of what others would make of them. 
I am changing to be a better version of me, because I deserve to become the best version of myself for myself.
I am changing how I spend my time. No longer will I spend days doing things that don’t spark happiness. 
This year I realised that I’m always kind to others yet I’m so quick to drag myself down. The things I say to myself I would never say about anyone else. It’s time to appreciate myself in the same ways I appreciate everyone else.
When I look in the mirror, it’s time to stop hating the things I see as imperfections and flaws. It’s time to learn to love the body I’m in because it’s how God created it to be, and I am grateful for it as it allows me to live another day.
I am changing in a way that lets the world know that I am enough. I am a strong, intelligent, kind, independent, and caring woman but most importantly, I am me.
I am changing the way I put myself last. If I can’t start putting myself higher up, I will not only show others it’s okay to do the same, but I’ll never move forward.
I am changing my relationships with others. My time and energy are a lot more valuable than I let on. No longer will I cross the ocean for those who can’t cross the street for me. I am no longer holding the title of the push over or the people pleaser.

I am changing and reinventing myself, and I am doing it for me. It wont be easy and it takes time, but it will be worth it. It’s already been worth it.

This year, I’ve set myself free; I have owed it to myself for a long time. 


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